Because we walked out of this and they gave us free passes.
We were busy.
We had people to see.
Things to do.
The sun was shining.
And by the time Jason Statham’s character had
[UPLEASANT SPOILERS AHOY: DON'T READ ON IF YOU DON'T WANT TO]
inserted a hot-tar cover shotgun into the backside of a large man, we knew we’d rather be elsewhere. Jett loved ‘Crank’; I could see what he meant – it was sassy, over the top, ridiculous computer-inspired fun. I couldn’t stand it; but, Dear Listener, you know me and violence for entertainment. (Not that my genial co-host is insensitive to these questions – we’re just different. That’s all.)
So we walked out and spent a leisurely afternoon drinking coffee and talking like human beings.
Alexander Larman in ‘The Guardian’ today is inviting us to consider the question:
‘Is Crank: High Voltage the most offensive film ever made?’
It’s a worthy question; and it brings another to mind: wouldn’t it be more risky to make a film in which no one gets killed, no one has a crisis, no one falls in love, and, oh I dunno, let’s just put this one out here, the makers decide to offend the military-industrialist-entertainment complex by suggesting that there might be richer things to do with our lives than shoot, screw, and blow things up?
Thank you. I feel better now.
13 responses so far.
1 Jett Loe // Apr 29, 2009 at 8:51 am
Crank 2
2 Gareth Higgins // Apr 29, 2009 at 9:09 am
The fact that I haven't yet walked out of a Michael Bay film should not be seen as a guarantee that I won't do so at some point in the future…
3 Jett Loe // Apr 29, 2009 at 9:15 am
Michael Bay
4 Tom // Apr 29, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Would very much like to join in with this discussion, but can't fully because my lousy work PC won't play Jett's videos. Can't wait to get the Mac back from the doctors on Saturday!
Never walked out of a Bay film – but I may very well never walk into another on again! Certainly decided to give Transformers 2 a miss.
And Gareth, in reference to the comment at the end of your post – feel free to rant any time you like.
5 Phil // Apr 29, 2009 at 2:13 pm
I do not mind copious amounts of violence provided it is either a) based in reality as per the telling of the story (i.e., Braveheart, Saving Private Ryan) or b) is meant to garner laughter because the violence is so gory it is satirical in nature (Tropic Thunder, Quentin Tarantino pictures). I'm gathering that Crank 2 did not generate the former or the latter.
As per Michael Bay, his films are offensive for entirely different reasons. It's not offensive to see make believe alien robots shoot at each other. It is offensive when they completely insult your intelligence, however, which Bay is the master of doing (full disclosure, despite the usual Bay stupidity, I hung in there w/ Transformers…I don't know why, I guess I like shiny things).
6 TimHeaney // Apr 30, 2009 at 2:06 am
Whilst agreeing with most of the sentiments posted here the thing that intrigues me about this post is that you seem to be saying you got free tickets for walking out on a bad film! I have managed to get free tickets when the cinema has been at fault (e.g. sound leakage from a neighbouring screen) but never because of the quality of the film. Is this something we should be trying more often? I could have saved myself a fortune over the years!
7 K-Ann // Apr 30, 2009 at 9:24 am
Amen, brother :)
8 Jett Loe // Apr 30, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Crank Tickets
9 Gareth Higgins // Apr 30, 2009 at 2:45 pm
It's simple – I told the nice woman at customer services that the film was one of the most offensive, uncomfortable, and unpleasant viewing experiences I had ever had, and I would appreciate it if she would refund the tickets. She immediately agreed to give us vouchers to let us come back for a free admission. The fact that we had only been in the screening for 10 minutes or so probably helped; but I think most cinemas would probably have a similar policy – or they should, if they want to take seriously the need to engender audience loyalty.
10 Jett Loe // Apr 30, 2009 at 6:06 pm
I'm betting it was your charming Oirish Brogue that got the job done…
11 Jett Loe // Apr 30, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Crank Tickets
12 Gareth Higgins // Apr 30, 2009 at 9:45 pm
It's simple – I told the nice woman at customer services that the film was one of the most offensive, uncomfortable, and unpleasant viewing experiences I had ever had, and I would appreciate it if she would refund the tickets. She immediately agreed to give us vouchers to let us come back for a free admission. The fact that we had only been in the screening for 10 minutes or so probably helped; but I think most cinemas would probably have a similar policy – or they should, if they want to take seriously the need to engender audience loyalty.
13 Jett Loe // May 1, 2009 at 1:06 am
I'm betting it was your charming Oirish Brogue that got the job done…
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